Vulnerable Vs Secure

Vulnerable Vs Secure

Vulnerable

Susceptible to physical or emotional injury. Susceptible to attack. Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.

Secure

Not likely to fail or give way; stable. Assured; certain. In safe custody. Not likely to fail, become loose, etc. Free from fear or doubt; easy in mind.

We all are vulnerable, we all must also be S E C U R E

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Soft Fleecy Clouds

Soft Fleecy Clouds

Today I remind myself and y’all of the self-locality of my views, assumptions, and conclusions, and to explicitly affirm the right of y’all to hold your own but I ain’t gon’ hold y’all, this is my post so find something safe to do. 

We bastardized the terms we use in relationships, the number one stunner “emotionally available.” There are women using this as a talking point and posted as the headline on their dating/ social media profile. I find it curious when I consider the women who are using this, my observation is that they themselves have negative emotional attachments showing up as a hidden appeal of deprivation.

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Checking In. Checking On.

Checking In. Checking On.

I had a friend check in with me this week. We spoke about (me) having a good week and hitting all my ‘metrics’ — Meditation, prayer, exercise, reading, water, sleep and I checked in/checked on some folks while minding my business. They in turn discussed the challenges they faced and asked how I outwardly manage to hold things together.  

I am hopeful, despite my circumstances, because I choose to be happy.

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Happiness is Self Contentedness

Happiness is Self Contentedness

In tête-à-têtes with living souls about moving from a company that I worked for twenty years I suggested that I was content. At my BIG age, working since the age of fifteen and six months, I also talked about balance.

Balance

Of Work & Life

What does that look like to you B?

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Random Observation #10,069

Random Observation #10,069

Random Observation … about nothing, yet everything

Giving a genuine, kind compliment

I believe I talked this into reality because it was a matter of conversation over the weekend. After my morning workout I stopped by Tradarius Jenkins to grab some essentials. After I parked and made my way to the door I notice a woman putting bags in her car—

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Emotional Calisthenics

Emotional Calisthenics

First, they love you, then they hate you, then they love you again.

Then they spin the block, but always on some passive-agress-her terms masked as humor.

Received a text message at one-thirty ante meridian— a meme using the guy tapping his finger on his head, having just thought of something. He’s figured out a way to avoid his problems, and is passing it along to you as a genius strategy…

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Comfortability with Replaceability

Comfortability with Replaceability

The end, or the beginning depending on your perspective, of the year is a great time for renewal. We highlight a list of goals or make resolutions. Attacking the new year with vigor, however, we don't always free up space to take on these new ideas we have for our lives.

Starting the year with a clean slate gives me the space to reflect…

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Gigolos Get Lonely Too

Gigolos Get Lonely Too

Over the weekend I attempted to watch a few new television shows, but ended up going back and watching repeats of shows that I enjoy. As I watched this scene from Season 3 of Survivor’s Remorse — The Photoshoot I Am reminded of the promise of L O V E

dot dot dot

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Life Changes - The Outro

Life Changes - The Outro

BREATHE.

Collectively, we have lost a lot over the past two years. The interconnectedness of Covid and other Life Changes owe us a check.

A commonality among the featured essays’ has been full autonomy. Whatever the experience, and/or how it is viewed— The art of self-regulation reads strong. Strengthening our sense of self by exposing and eliminating our inner conflicts. Writing (can) help facilitate that.

These conflicts consist of feeling unloved, deprived, betrayed, helpless, and on and on til’ the break of dawn.

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Life Changes - AS Esq.

Life Changes - AS Esq.

Oh Hey 39, Can We Do a Take 2?

Anger, loneliness, fear, anxiety, deep happiness, burning frustration…none of the adjectives I thought I’d be using to describe my world at 39 but the first ones that popped into my head.

You see at 39, I thought I’d be prepping in a big way for 40! I always viewed 39 as the pre-game for the big 4-0, where you line all up the fabulous things to fete at forty. Husband, kids, house, car, and travel points racked up. I’m supposed to be planning a girls' trip to somewhere luxurious or a big 40th!

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Insane In the Membrane

Insane In the Membrane

What Do You Do To Protect Yourself From Pain?

I protect myself with a complicated set of traps & defense mechanisms.

I received a lot of private feedback on this sentence from my post,

"I could be a great boyfriend, partner, or husband except… I do NOT want to do the work."

Mostly you need to heal, you're hurt, and you need time feedback.

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Life Changes - Nikks

Life Changes - Nikks

“Love is the one game you lose by refusing to play.

I heard that quote a very long time ago, I think on Ally McBeal… is my age showing? I think that we can replace the word “love” with the word “life.” I’ve realized if you don’t live in the dash, you lose.

It’s a simple rule, 19xx - 20xx, the dash between birth and expiration.

That dash is your life.

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Life Changes - Tracey

Life Changes - Tracey

I did things kind of late in life but it seemed like the timeline was only in my head.

When I moved to Washington, D.C. to start grad school at 27, I looked at my cohort of 23 and 24 year olds and thought “ya’ll some babies!!” I had a whole career before going back for another degree but being on the cusp of 30 was making me feel like I had more life experience, more maturity and more to lose when it came to doing well in my program. Failure wasn't an option.

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