Vulnerable Vs Secure

Vulnerable

Susceptible to physical or emotional injury. Susceptible to attack. Liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.

Secure

Not likely to fail or give way; stable. Assured; certain. In safe custody. Not likely to fail, become loose, etc. Free from fear or doubt; easy in mind.

We all are vulnerable, we all must also be S E C U R E

Safety

Safety is not feeling at risk of harm or danger. I carry weapons so I feel safe with me, you should too. Emotional safety, however, means knowing that you will not be criticized, blamed, rejected, invalidated, or dismissed.

Esteem

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs theorizes that people’s behaviors are motivated by five different levels of needs. Esteem is the fourth level— feeling accepted and valued by others. Romantic partners in a secure relationship don't view each other as being superior or inferior, but as equally valuable and deserving of love.

Commitment

Commitment includes conative, cognitive, and affective components: (a) intent to persist (b) long-term orientation and (c) psychological attachment. (Science) In dyadic terms… emotional well-being is influenced by a couple’s relationship. Making a genuine commitment with each other by choosing to love and honor your bond. Word is bond.

Understanding

If you have been reading my blog for some time, you’ve seen me write about living souls being in love with the idea of being in love. What should be understood is "what you see is what you get" so you never fall in love with an imaginary version of each other. Not no parkay, not no margarine, strictly butter.

Respect

Safety, esteem, commitment, understanding… secure, loving relationships and mutual respect go together like PB&J. Respect is broad – at a high level it is unconditional acceptance. Respect looks like you being loved, being nurtured, being seen, being listened to, being valued, being appreciated, being defended, being considered, being happy and deserving of reciprocity. 

Effective Communication

Effective communication is a bastardized term. It is important to define what that means to YOU. Good communication is a must to sustain intimacy and closeness. Listen with your ears, and not your mouf, listen to understand and not to respond. Shared communication should include the SECURE qualities above and never a 'one-up' or 'one-down'

I would be a great boyfriend but honestly, after reading this post it would take a lot of work.

Get somebody else to do it,

I Remain