Connection crabbing is often the result of a relationship catalyst-- one of two parties seeking to end a relationship, whether social media or ones that spill over into the streets. The other party's hurt and confusion become destructive and are exhibited in this manner, either out of feelings of rejection or a desire to control and hurt.
Read More“… fuck you and your lame ass friends.”
This is a line from a comment on Fair Trade. I couldn’t care less about the comment, but it made me think a lot about friendship and what it means to be a friend. 'Friend' has been bastardized so much that when someone uses it, we aren’t sure if the person means something or they’re just some random nigga they have an eConnection with.
Read MoreSomeone asked me the other day if I were happy. In context I understand why. In a social media world of happiness theater, competition on happiness and not real happiness, but who could display it best online. I believe they genuinely wanted to know. especially seeing the changes in my life in real time over the past two years.
“Saying you are happy isn’t the same as being happy”
Read MoreRelationships coming to an end has been a BIG theme in my circles this week, and by relationships I’m referring to an emotional connection between living souls - not exclusive to a four letter word beginning with L and ending in E. I had a friendship end as recently as a month ago. I didn’t argue, I didn’t ponder, I moved on as I’m sure they have.
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“I think back of the few people that were allowed to interface with Brian ( his choice ) … ”
That’s my mother on Mr.TramueL … Did my mama use my government name? It seems even as an adolescent I was guarded with who I allowed into my personal space. I have a very small circle of folk whom I consider friends, although somewhat undemonstrative I am generally loyal and responsible to those I care about.
What happens when they stop e-mailing, texting, calling or simply stop communicating? If you’re using Twitter, Facebook or any other social-media site when you lose a follower it’s no problem ‘cause they can always be replaced. In real life there are no macros, widgets or tools that email you when someone stops following you, what was said or perhaps done at that particular point in time. If something in my character past or present causes you to stop “following” me I offer you this; judgments can be as unjust as the actions or personal view they condemn.
Don’t worry kids Mr.TramueL is still committed to disarming his armor. I’ll continue to look to the sky and deepen my relationships with my current “followers.” I feel sorry for lil’ Mr.TramueL though he is now my official & permanent hang-out partner.
Drops Mic. Pours out a little liquor on stage (for those we lost along the way.) Walks off. Lights match. Throws lit match on poured out liquor. Stage goes up in flames.
Magic Always,
I think about a recent conversation with my mom where we talked about politics and movies. I think about conversations with my cousin who will shoot first and ask questions later but is driven to the point of no return. I think about conversations with my sisters, their stories encompass sacrifices and triumphs in nurturing their own families. We are all absolutely unique and yet the same.
Read MoreInitially I sat down to chronicle the sights and sounds of my recent excursion to En Why Cee, however as I started to write the random thoughts, observations and inspiration; direct and indirect that developed from the experience took over …
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"Life is fortified by friendships"
~ Corky aka Roschelle {Ro'Ro'}
M.Dolphus Avatar
The Touchy, Feely Moment
Lil’ Mr.TramueL “ Hey Dad, What you doing?”
Mr.TramueL “Nothing, “ Talking to you, What you doing?”
Lil’ Mr.TramueL “Nothing, Talking to you”
Mr.TramueL “How was school?”
Lil’ Mr.TramueL “Dad! We’re on Spring break!”
Mr.TramueL “I know, I was just messing with you 0_0”
My days run together, don’t judge me
… That conversation would continue for another twenty minutes until something on the t.v. caught his attention or until he became bored with me so let’s end it there. The significance of the conversation comes when I discoverer all of the conveniences, sacrifices and all around concern his mother displayed for the kids this week. It is not significant because I observed it, but because it goes without saying everyday, three-sixty-five. The love she exudes for her children is amazing. Shout out to my mom, your mom, baby mama’s, my sister’s, future mama’s and to all of you women reading this post. There is no substitute for you.
The Lesson
The photo above is a pretty accurate depiction of the ex in looks and gifts. Well the hips are a little smaller in the picture but I digress. She is a classically trained lyric soprano but owns and operates her own business working with disadvantage youth.
The last sentence is relative to the conversations, discussions, textersations, blog post, blog comments & thoughts I’ve had this week concerning purpose, vocation & listening for the voice that calls you.
He Said, She Said … Vision
“Don’t let YOUR vision stand in the way of GOD’S dream”
Mr.TramueL
“Don’t call, come get me … “
Short Stories
Transforming, experiencing others along the way …
Friendship is rooted in L
ve. The Latin word for love is amor. The word for friend is amicus. The word for friendship is amicitia.
Self-Analysis. I recognize a lot of compulsive desires as a problem for me, these are symptoms however. The root of the problem is negative self-talk and feeling deprived. Brian often talks me into believing that I’m somehow deprived and missing out on something important. It’s very easy to throw out this emotional attachment once I make it conscious and play it forward.
Brian & Mr.TramueL need a practical modus vivendi.
Great friends exist for each other, they are demonstrative in their concern and care. We all need spiritual friendships that produce truth, fun, inspiration and most important Action.
My problems as lessons give me the experience to be that friend most times, providing the medicine of life. Recently I’ve been on the receiving end … friend(s) have listened, encouraged, prayed, acted and believed. Deep bows.
I took some credit in that last paragraph with references to me, myself & I but there is no “I” in GOD, I know it’s HIM that allows me to counsel from HIS word. Word.
“Call me when you need me … I’ll be right here”
Love & Light,
Mr. Brian “and ‘nem” TramueL
"The greatest gift a man can give his kids is to love & respect their mother"
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*Clears throat for speech*
I don’t know where to begin so I’m going to share how my “be you (tiful)” mind bought this post into existence. It’s a few weeks old and has been sitting in my drafts folder quivering like a frightened child with the fear of being scolded by a parent. {Where is D to the Y? Where is Dez? Where is DJ?} ☚Insiders
I’m on Tweedeck with columns for Twitter, Facebook, Google Buzz, LinkedIn & FourSquare all in view. The word “friend” was lighting up and jumping off the screen towards me from each. Some praised their friends while others contemplated if someone was ever really their friend. So I stopped and I asked myself, I said: “Self? How do you define a friend?” Myself said: “I’ont know kid, I’ont wanna study war no’ mo’.” I mumbled: “T!his guy.” … I think the force was strong with the Blog circle that week ‘cause it spawned a few post on or pertaining to friends.
C.S. Lewis categorizes a four letter word beginning with L and ending with E into four basic human loves: Affection, Eros, Charity & Friendship, of the four friendship is probably the least valued and most underrated. The reason is that many of us have not experienced a substantial, enduring friendship. I have over six-hundred “friends” on Facebook & three-hundred “Followers” on Twitter. These relationships involve nothing but a tweet and a status update, just a passing connection … another reason friendship is devalued. We say associates and acquaintances from work are friends, from these relationships a friendship may grow but it doesn’t have the trust, loyalty, commitment or intimacy of true friendship. The other night while speaking with a conversance they shared feeling alone, identifying the fact that from within their phone’s contact list there wasn't anyone they could call at 10:00 p.m. on a Saturday night. I’m sure they have “friends” but they weren’t clocked in at that particular moment. Aside from my sisters, a cousin, my parents and the women I’ve dated, I’ve never had a true friendship. I’ll minimize that by saying I’m not holding a casting call for any friends because I’m an introvert. Connecting with others is a process, the flow involves questions, inferences and conversation. The problem that I have is that most friendships start from the value of it’s usefulness, achieving some material end or as folk to kill time with. My standard of folk and my actual expectation keeps my from reaching out. I understand that this is a problem and I’m working through (My therapist says only four more sessions at an extended rate & I should be ready to hold a casting call.)
So after talking & hugging it out with Mr.TramueL our definition of friend would be someone who supports my emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual development. Someone who doesn’t want me to stay as I am, they want me to grow, they want nothing less than my wholeness & my holiness.
There is so much more that I could say but I won’t, I’ll allow you to speak on what you see as true friendship?
Magic Always,
Mr. "One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else" TramueL
