The two of you reading this know me well enough to understand that I’m not becoming an actual villain. I’m not abandoning my decency or planning to treat others poorly. What this means is that I’m done prioritizing the feelings, boundaries, and needs of others at the expense of my own…
Read MoreWhen I began to prioritize my health, all of the healths: emotional, social, spiritual, environmental, financial, occupational, intellectual, and my favorite sexual... I noticed that some people started to fill in the blanks with their ass umptions and narratives. & by some people, I mean women, some would "Lol, I'm just serious" me to death, referring to my structured lifestyle as having a team, suggesting I'm juggling multiple situationships. The reality? I'm just at home, focused on my goals, in bed by 8 in the PMs…
Read MoreA fleeting moment of doubt and longing captured in seventeen syllables…
Read MoreEvery time I see a “solo date” post on social media, I feel a bit… well, conflicted, like seeing a cat dressed as a pirate. I mean, it’s cute, but is it necessary? I’ve always believed people should use social media however they like. If something resonates, I’ll engage; if not, I just scroll past. But these solo date posts started to bug me, and I had to wonder why…
Read MoreI don’t enjoy conversations about love. “It’s not because it’s an emotion… an abstraction that is hard to quantify and define.” It’s not because I tend to have more of a logical locus of control than an emotional one. It's because social media has profoundly influenced how men and women perceive and engage with each other, shifting the narrative from emotional connection to transactional expectations. Instead of love as mutual understanding and growth, we now often see a narrow focus on what men can materially provide and what women refuse to compromise on—
Read More“Peeling away, yet I’m compelled to stay, cherishing you from a place between drawing blood & the gentlest touch.” - Hangnail
Hanging on by a thread…
I've been active on Threads and I'm enjoying it so far. However, I haven't fully figured out how the algorithm works. It shows me a lot of content from local users in Charlotte, with many threads about food, traffic, dating, fitness, and life in Uptown.
Read MoreBrian? How are you able to detach, stay neutral, spend so much time alone, travel alone, eat alone, be quiet, sit still, stay optimistic, and still be so handsome?
Don’t answer, it’s rhetorical…
Read MoreMy interest in [redacted] isn't about wanting her, but about why she's not falling for me like others usually do.
The self-proclaimed social media experts, "Hmm... since you got your degree, and you know every fucking thing," would label me a narcissist. But honestly, it’s more of an ego thing than full-on narcissism.
Read MoreLately, I’ve been contemplating a move to Houston, TX, or possibly back to Atlanta, GA. The possibility has me reflecting on how moving can be a profound act of self-love. It’s more than just changing addresses; it’s about consciously prioritizing your well-being over comfort or the expectations of others.
Read More291 → 258 → 225: Charting My Transformation
32.1 Pounds Down in 96 Days
On June 29th, 2024, I stood on the scale during a doctor’s visit, weighing 291 pounds. Fast forward to September 26th, and I’m now at 258 pounds— 32.1 pounds lighter in just 96 days. My goal? To reach 225 pounds by the first quarter of 2025, and I’m well on track to hit, also make weight ;) I anticipate being 243 pounds by December 31st.
Read MoreAfter my divorce, I quickly learned that dating in these un-united of states is different. Our attachment to technology has escalated the disconnection, reducing genuine connections to swipes, likes, and fleeting messages. This experience has transformed my view of relationships.
Read MoreWhat Else Are Women For?
“The world still wants to ask that a woman primarily be pretty and if she is not, the mob pouts and asks querulously, 'What else are women for?”
― W.E.B. Du Bois
Read MoreDeath and Loss: The Weight of Remembrance
The two-year remembrance of my mother brings the weight of grief back into sharp focus, but this time it feels layered with the pain of others around me. Witnessing my co-worker and close friend endure their own losses has deepened my reflections on death. Their grief reminds me of the universality of sorrow, yet each person’s experience is so uniquely personal. As I support them, I find my own grief taking on new dimensions, teaching me not just about the fragility of life but also the importance of remembrance as a way to honor both the loss and the lessons left behind by those we loved.
Read MoreI’m a grown, fully autonomous, adult human man, and I am crushing hard on someone. It’s comical and feels very grade school—like, “Will you go with me? Circle one: Yes or No.”
Read MoreIn November 2020, I wrote a post titled “Love, Undeserving Of” It was a moment of reflection, prompted by someone telling me they didn’t feel good enough for me. I was confused, not because I thought I was above anyone, but because I’ve always held a deep sense of my own worthiness, my capability, and my right to be loved. As always, I went somewhere and 'sat down' to search for clarity and understanding regarding the root of this feeling, not just in others, but within myself.
Read MoreWe all experience sadness— It’s a fundamental part of being human. Whether it stems from a loss, disappointment, or a difficult life situation, sadness is a natural emotion that helps us process our experiences. When I read my daily update via Co-Star I immediately understood. I don't believe I weaponize my sadness, I typically go inward and isolate not wanting to pull anyone into it. However, I recognize a fine line between feeling sad and using that sadness as a weapon in our relationships; love, marriage, friendship, family, and work. When sadness becomes a tool for manipulation, it can damage trust, create resentment, and ultimately deteriorate the foundation of even the strongest connections.
Manipulation is a strong word choice,
"But it is what it is."
Read MoreSinglism, a term coined by expert Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. that refers to the stereotyping and stigmatizing of people who are single.
Read MoreBenefit of the doubt doesn’t apply when it comes to the appeasing of lingering feelings. What I’ve realized is that my friends had emotions tied into previous relationships, just as I had emotions. Closure is finding the ending. And that ending can sound like Adele’s Someone Like You or it sounds like Never Someone Like Me.
Read MoreThere are few phrases as simple yet impactful as "I'm proud of you." When spoken genuinely, it lifts others in ways we might not fully appreciate until we hear them ourselves.
As we navigate through life, striving and working hard, we often doubt ourselves. We chase after goals, endure setbacks, and sometimes get lost in the grind. Amidst all this, it's easy to forget to pause and recognize our achievements, let alone hear someone else do it…
Read MoreHonor among thieves, the 2024 election cycle.
During my last eight years at BofA, I formed strong connections with folks. Yesterday, I felt immense gratitude while talking with a former coworker who has become a great friend. I initiated the call and started with, “I have ten people in my favorites on my phone, and you are one of them.” We weren’t talking about anything in particular, but it highlighted how much I value genuine connections…
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