Listen With Your Ears And Not Your Mouf'

My son, not-so-little Brian, is a sophomore in school and has shared concerns about the current state of affairs in these un-United of States. He worries about how current policies will affect his ability to find meaningful work. I initially minimized his concerns by advising him to keep his head down and finish school. He will always have a place "at home," and he won't have the burden of student loan debt because The Tramuel (formerly known as) and I have covered his tuition. But his concerns are still valid, and it's important to listen and empathize…

The Lesson

Take their side or no side at all; listen, empathize, and problem-solve if asked. Never admonish anyone for their concerns. They are valid and deserve to be acknowledged.

The Opportunity

I've often lamented that my kids don't come to me for help. But this is an opportunity to show up for them, to support them, and ultimately strengthen our relationships.

The Gift

There is a lot of talk about the importance of communication, but not everyone truly understands how to communicate effectively. Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about my son's concerns. She listened intently, allowing me to ramble on as I tend to do.

I also shared my desire to have a closer relationship with my kids, hoping they would come to me, even if it was just to vent. I’ve learned to never jump to solutions and problem-solve unless I'm explicitly asked to, even with family. Most people just want someone to listen and empathize, even when there is a clear solution to their issue.

I really appreciated my friend for coming back to me with a suggestion. She encouraged me to take my son's concerns as an opportunity to deepen our relationship. I value my connection with her immensely, and it made me realize that great communication is more than just speaking—it's about listening to understand, expressing thoughts clearly, and creating space for mutual respect.

When communication is open and genuine, differences don't have to lead to conflict. They can lead to growth.

The Process

Problems don't solve themselves. They require: Acknowledgment. Expression. Discussion. Brainstorming/Solutions. Action.

I remian,

O.B. “Original Brian” not the not-so-little one TramueL