Random Observation #5,000

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Writing

I do not write for circumstances, but solace from them.

There was a central theme in September for all five relationship categories; love, marriage, friendship, family, work.

& I quote,

"You look good on paper, but you are a lot in real life (n-word)."

A read.

In my mind, I countered with people being in love with the idea of something and not the actual thing.

& I quote,

"Ultimately, it is the desire, not the desired that we love."

- Friedrich Nietzsche

Of Love

I'm not sure what's happening here but I have several friends, myself included struggling in this category. In most love relationships, psychological projection, replaying scripts from past relationships, and a host of emotions including jealousy, anger, a desire to dominate and control, nurturing and protective impulses, narcissism, and even worship struggle for the ascendancy. The promise of love is maddening, exalting, thrilling, and frustrating driving living souls into these situations in a search for a "perfect partner."

Of Marriage

In an age in which over half of marriages end in divorce, it is confusing why so many people still choose to get married. It should not be assumed that love is always the main motivating factor or that it is enough to hold a marriage together. It is a game of matchups, having to do with shared values that are more practical, financial, social, intellectual, or aesthetic.

Of Friendship

Lean on Me

Nothing to see here because deep friendships have elements of love and marriage built into it. Y'all know what I mean so don't make this one weird.

Of Family

Specifically parents and children. There should be a bond of trust and acceptance because sooner or later you will have to confront problems and come to some sort of peace with each other.

Of Work

Certain work relationships are likely to develop into productive friendships.

See friendship, then see love.

Having a deep sense of being connected to someone, feeling loved, respected, and appreciated while at the same time seeking to reciprocate seems simple. Well, what does "feeling loved" look like?

I'm glad you asked ...

to feel loved is to have the sense that the other person genuinely cares about your well-being. Respect has to do with feeling the other person has positive regard for your personhood, intellect, abilities, and personality.

I don't have the answers for others but for me, myself and I. I've been practicing being of service to myself (first) and then making myself available to be of service to others. This approach is keeping me honest in how I relate and communicate with others - The BIGgest take away from this "...but you are a lot in real life (n-word)" is my mouth, and that I can be very blunt. In my mind, I counter with the root cause of THEIR communication problem lies in interpretation.

Lol, I'm just serious.

Anyway, we are at the sudden and unexpected end of this post.

B’