Journal Entry Pain

PAIN

I have been trying to write this for a week and a half with no real understanding of what I’m trying to say – There have been four deaths announced to me during that time; co-workers, family of close friends, and classmates. 

Mastering fear & anxiety, I’ve learned how to respond to news of death by being open, honest and sincere. 

The brevity of life is a constant reminder not to suppress affection, we should tell others how we feel continually and show them regularly. There are times that life (& death) will throw living souls into heartbreaking situations, and it can become very dark.

I, having never experienced loss like a few around me, have learned to say I can’t imagine what they are going through rather than saying nothing. The fear of making matters worse may encourage us to say or do nothing. My experience has been better to try doing something, inadequate as you may feel, than to do nothing at all. & by something I don’t mean attempting to sooth or minimize the emotions of the griever.

The loss of a parent, spouse or child – A pain none of us can imagine if we have never experienced it. I hear in living souls, myself included, the assumption that life prepares us for loss. “S/he was dealing with an illness” “Sh/e lived a long full life” … believing that being prepared somehow equips us to handle loss. However, more is learned about loss through experience than through preparation. 

When supporting someone in their grief the most important thing is to simply listen. The mourner may need time to be alone but will surely appreciate the effort you made to visit. Do some act of kindness; run errands, prepare meals, mow the lawn, care for the children, shop for groceries.

The smallest gestures are better than the grandest good intention.

I Am,