Sleeping With A Friend ≠Friends With Benefits

Mr.TramueL’s Unconscionable Commentary: This is especially true when dealing with someone you're attracted to.

One Step at a time

Boy meets girl … in your home town, in school, at work or on these social streetz. Totally platonic, each becoming willing conduits into the worlds of men & women. This whirl takes you on one of two paths, 1Neurosis: A pattern of impaired thinking, accompanied by anxiety, which is caused by the repression of an unacceptable emotion or 2Dizygotic, true brothers and sisters.

Excitement is stimulating

Boy and girl share intimate details about their existing and non-existing four letter word beginning with L an ending in E lives. Sexy & exciting, further fueling the flame. They find each other to be generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered. Attraction is at an all time high with a build up of sexual tension. Sniff, sniff … ahhh smells like neurosis is setting in.

Results are not always beneficial

Definitely not the easiest situation to prepare or plan for, taking that HUGE next step with a boy/girl you’re already close to. Bumping at high speeds, skipping ahead to the physical action is undoubtedly fun, but if expectations aren’t clear the result can be maddening. Good everywhere else, but not in bed? Sniff, sniff … ahhh smells like neurosis.

Stay focused

The morning after & the few days that follow are full of awkwardness. We all know that sex changes things. I Am … writing from the outside looking in but my personal experience a few years ago yielded some unexpected results. The sex was Blah5  We didn’t talk about it, it never happened again but we remain friends. I gotta get mine, you gotta get yours? Don’t answer, it was rhetorical.

Do as I say not as I do. During this time the worst thing to do is …

♪ Not talk about sex, baby ♪ ♪ Not talk about you and me ♪ ♪ Not talk about all the good things ♪ ♪ And the bad things that may be ♪

… best to keep communicating & remain honest. Don’t miss your man/woman behind neurotic thoughts.

The Knowing

Ultimately it is about knowing & trusting your intuitions.

I ain’t gon’ be able to do it, one or both of you may not be feeling the moves. Small idiosyncrasies like stares while you eat or someone has stinky feet can be deal breakers. Those small quirks can be BIG turn offs. 

You give me butterflies, this is a win. I’m no relationship expert but I did stay at a Holiday Inn once, friends first right? Isn’t that what everyone says? What a wondrous experience to incorporate sex into a friendship with someone you could share the rest of your life with. 

Friends with benefits, this post was born from an attempt to play Hitch in a real life situation, as I tried to provide advice and counsel for someone who had an unexpected result during a recent sexcapade. I over analyzed, developed postulates and theorems, similar to Hitch I got schooled in the end too. The lesson … sleeping with someone whom you find “generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered” followed by a pattern of impaired thinking, accompanied by anxiety, which is caused by the repression of an unacceptable emotion can be attributed to sleeping with a friend opposed to having casual sex with no emotional connection, friend with benefits.

Sleeping With A Friend ≠Friends With Benefits

I Am ... Mr.TramueL